3:01 p.m.
hi, remember me? i live here.
i'm still waiting for the fall weather to show up. today i wore long sleeves and it was much too warm. the trees are turning, but slowly, and the streets aren't yet filled with crunchy leaves that blow around in the cold wind. i can't wait for sweatshirts and jackets. i'd even settle for some dark rain.
so many things are changing that i'm not sure what's right anymore. i'm not even sure what i want anymore. i guess all i really want is time to figure out what i want. i want to play around with life, use some different colors. i want to see things i haven't seen and meet people i haven't met. this is what i will do, sometime, somehow.
right now is sort of like limbo. like that moment's hesitation before taking a step in a certain direction, except the hesitation is extended and indefinite. all of a sudden, there is an infinite number of ways and directions in which i can step, and it's overwhelming. i plan to sit around for a while and find out what's best. make mistakes.
i check my buddy list everyday, even when i'm not updating all that often. i read everytime people update. i sometimes think that these diaries only work as long as things are ultimately the same as they were yesterday. i'm not sure if anything in my life is the same as it was yesterday.
for the first time in my entire life, i feel the pressure of the holiday season.
did you know that just smiling at random times helps to feel happy?